This long Labor Day weekend included watching (loud) porn and having (loud) sex in a guy's grandma's house. I mean, his grandma wasn't there, he was house sitting. But the house was all... cliche grandma feeling. I felt like I was desecrating her home, all naked on crocheted blankets in the living room and stuff, always fearing we'd wind up leaving a stain on the hand-sewn quilt on the bed, moving all the trinkets off of the dining room table...

In the guest room we stayed in, there was a cross and pictures of his dad and aunt on the wall, watching us while we fucked like there was no tomorrow.

Afterward, he brought me a cold drink, and yes, we used the doily coasters.